What’s been present in coaching recently is how challenging it can be to claim our worth, to honor ourselves as worthy and valuable. Especially (with the entrepreneurs Iwork with) when it comes to business initiatives being an emotional human working with other emotional humans. As an entrepreneur asking for what you’re worth (at least initially) can be challenging. So is raising your prices. So is saying no to a client who crosses boundaries or cutting ties with people who are simply a hassle to work with. To rely on our beliefs and values and to trust our intuition can get blocked.
Fear raises its ugly head. Breeching the subject looks like confrontation. We worry that losing a customer will equate to financial hardship. The biggest fear, at the heart of it all, is the possibility of confirming we are deficient. If a client chooses to discontinue services because you’ve raised your prices fear says it’s because you are not worth more. If a customer throws a fit because you sever the relationship fear says it’s because you are defective. We can end up in a subservient role rather than standing in our power. Allowing crossed boundaries and broken promises from others diminishes us. Others can not value you, your service, your knowledge, your abilities more than you stand for them.
Having high standards for how you show up, for the quality of service you provide is noble. Putting in additional time and effort to meet your own expectations is character. Doing the same actions out of capitulation because someone changed their mind or wants something not in your wheel house might need looking out. What do you gain with the extra time and effort? What do you loose?
We do this dance in all areas of our life. Balancing our desires with the needs and wants of others. To navigate successfully it helps to be grounded in your own worth. Know you are adequate. Trust in yourself. Have faith in who you are. Because whether we go looking for it or not that worth will be challenged. Sometimes from unexpected quarters. You will be rebuffed, shunned, rejected. Someone sometime will make it their business to let you know they think you are flat out wrong. You are going to be disapproved of. You will hear “No.” The world has never promised us smooth sailing. If we are never tested we can not know our strength or resolve. If we never ask for what we are worth we can not receive confirmation. Without the risk of holding your boundaries you have no boundaries.
When it comes down to it what we have is who we are. Which is more than enough. Raise your deserve level. Trust your abilities, your experience, your beliefs. Trust your intuition. Speak your truth. Claim your value. The answer to the at-the-heart-of-it fear will never be a confirmation of deficiency. It will be an validation of the power you hold and an expansion of all that you are.
For Your Best Possible Self
Coach Christine Clark